An elephant walked across a featureless landscape:
a pencil drawing with just a line to separate earth and sky,
and a single fluffy cloud in the background.
A mouse clawed at his ankle, squeaking furiously.
The elephant stopped, picked him up, and asked him
what his problem was.
The mouse squeaked in earnest and at length, little flecks
of mouse-spit creating a foam around his mouth.
‘I can’t understand you. Your voice is too high-pitched,’
said the elephant. Using the digit at the end of his trunk,
he pressed down on the mouse’s Adam’s apple. ‘Now try.’
‘I’m gonna kill you, you motherfucker! You killed my mother
and you killed my sister! You took your huge elephant foot
and crushed our nest, injuring dozens of my family!’
And with that, the mouse pulled out a tiny gun.
‘I see,’ said the elephant. He was not without remorse, but
what could he do? He was what he was. Besides, his eyesight
wasn’t so good that he could be sidestepping mouse-nests
the whole time. He placed the tiny creature on a nearby tree branch
and continued on his way.
The mouse aimed his tiny gun at the elephant’s retreating head
and pulled the trigger. The bullet was so tiny that it passed through
the pores at the base of the elephant’s ear, collided with the optic nerve,
and took a freeway ride all the way to the elephant’s brain,
where it exploded like a tiny Christmas cracker.
The elephant suffered a massive cerebral haemorrhage and collapsed,
taking with him the earth, the sky, and several nests of creatures
not yet drawn.
a pencil drawing with just a line to separate earth and sky,
and a single fluffy cloud in the background.
A mouse clawed at his ankle, squeaking furiously.
The elephant stopped, picked him up, and asked him
what his problem was.
The mouse squeaked in earnest and at length, little flecks
of mouse-spit creating a foam around his mouth.
‘I can’t understand you. Your voice is too high-pitched,’
said the elephant. Using the digit at the end of his trunk,
he pressed down on the mouse’s Adam’s apple. ‘Now try.’
‘I’m gonna kill you, you motherfucker! You killed my mother
and you killed my sister! You took your huge elephant foot
and crushed our nest, injuring dozens of my family!’
And with that, the mouse pulled out a tiny gun.
‘I see,’ said the elephant. He was not without remorse, but
what could he do? He was what he was. Besides, his eyesight
wasn’t so good that he could be sidestepping mouse-nests
the whole time. He placed the tiny creature on a nearby tree branch
and continued on his way.
The mouse aimed his tiny gun at the elephant’s retreating head
and pulled the trigger. The bullet was so tiny that it passed through
the pores at the base of the elephant’s ear, collided with the optic nerve,
and took a freeway ride all the way to the elephant’s brain,
where it exploded like a tiny Christmas cracker.
The elephant suffered a massive cerebral haemorrhage and collapsed,
taking with him the earth, the sky, and several nests of creatures
not yet drawn.